Complicated Relationship

Dear Aunty Funke,
I’m A.K. I fell in love with my friend’s girlfriend, with the intention of getting married to her, although she was the one that approached me first. Later on, I took permission from my friend and he gave his consent. However, along the line, the girl started treating me badly and later confessed that her former boyfriend (my friend), was beginning to show interest in her again, which was contrary to what she had earlier told me. I think she is in love with both of us, because any time I tell her how much I care about her, she keeps putting me off and yet, I love her with all my heart. Do I give up?
Dear A.K.,
I think this lady is seriously confused. Maybe you should give her time to think about what she wants in life. Have a heart-to-heart conversation with her and make her realise how hurt you are. I believe you should also chat with your friend and get him to make up his mind on whether he still wants to continue his relationship with the girl or not. If his answer is yes and your girl is still cold in her attitude towards you, I think you just have to forget about her.

How Can I Win Her Heart?
Dear Aunty Funke,
How do I go about asking a girl out and how do I win her heart?
Dear Reader,
If you are mature enough for a relationship, that is, physically, mentally, psychologically, financially, etc., then it is all about self confidence. You must believe in yourself and be positive in your thinking. Improve your vocabulary, pay attention to your dressing and manners. Convince yourself that you can do it and you will see it happening.

He Is Unpredictable
Dear Aunty Funke,
I have been going out with my sister’s friend and she is aware of it. He told me that he had been dating a girl before we started the relationship but that he had no feelings for her and that when he met me, he fell in love. He works in a bank and calls me, but since he started his professional examination, he hasn’t done so because, according to him, he wasn’t promising any girl marriage. I don’t want to jump from one relationship to another, but I am confused. Please, help me out.
Dear Reader,
I see that your guy is not stable and quite unpredictable. If you are ready for marriage and you are going out with someone who is unreliable, I can say, with all certainty, that you have something to think about. Make him realise how much you are hurt, how much he means to you and how confused you are. If he will not make a promise, I would suggest that you start looking for another man. All the best.

Depressed
Dear Aunty Funke,
I have been in a relationship for the past three years and this is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I love my lady so much and have made known my intention to marry her, while I also appealed to her not to date any other man. But to my shock, she has been dating other men secretly until my elder brother caught her. I have asked her to go, but I am still hurt and have been crying for the past one month as I cannot get her out of my mind. Please, tell me what to do next.
Dear Reader,
Life cannot but be with pain. Sometimes we are happy, sometimes we are sad. It may hurt badly but if you gave her your best and she was still seeing other men secretly, then she may not make a good partner. All the better for you that you found out what she was really like before marrying her. If she was not faithful to you, why worry yourself about her? I believe that you should keep trying to put her out of your mind. After all, time is a great healer. Please cheer up.

She’s Inattentive
Dear Aunty Funke,
My name is Sir K, a secondary school leaver. I am dating a girl who is now in SS2 and she is 18 years old. Whenever I pay her a visit to discuss our future together, that is, marriage, she doesn’t pay much attention, perhaps because she is afraid of her mom; although she has been very nice to me. She is my soul, my heart and my star that I don’t want to lose. How do I win her?
Dear Sir K.,
Perhaps your girl is not only worried about her mom’s reaction, she has to worry about her age, her education and finances. I would suggest that you should be very patient with her since she can only be qualified for marriage when she is 21; a full grown adult. Then, you can put more pressure on her about the future. Take it easy with her for now. All the best.

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